Welcome to my Mental Hospital..         

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME...

I'm a 31 year old divorcee (November 12, 1971), with almost 2 kids & a lot of issues! I got married when I was 16 years old, split up 2 years later & was too young to properly look after our son, so he stayed with his dad. Two years later we were friends & I could see my son whenever I wanted.

That gave me freedom to do my own thing - such as it was. I grew up in violence & sexual abuse & was not in any way, shape or form prepared for the real world. My trusting nature - amazingly still intact - led me from one abusive relationship to another. I just couldn't bring myself to hurt another person, even as they hurt me. I met good people as well & My Buddy has  stuck with me thru the years... well except for that one year nobody talks about!

When I found myself pregnant with my second child, there was no way I could raise it, feed it & give it a good, happy home. It seemed only natural to give it up - not to M. B.- she was busy with her new baby- but her sister. Let's just say I'm not so sure that was a good idea....

After that, I went to The Big City. I absolutely loved it!  I worked for 3 months doing phone-sex ( don't ask! ) & ended up - surprise - in another abusive relationship. That's when my older half-brother decided to kill himself. My boy-friend & I returned to my home town.

That's when M. B. said ," Hey, if you need a beating- I'll give it to ya!" She gave me the strength & brains to get out. I had 5 stitches in my ankle when I left that one. I also learned about 'battered woman syndrome'. It sucks... I never knew what I was really feeling or thinking; what I thought was funny or even if it was okay to be pretty. Check out my poems to get the idea. Carry On & Colors 

That's about the time when the nice Greek older man I used to work for introduced me to his very nice Greek nephew! He was a good man & next thing I know, he's paid for my divorce, proposed, & we were on our way to Greece! A very long plane ride with no smokes or pot. (Olympic Airways still let's you smoke.) Marijuana is okay in Turkey but NOT in Greece! Surprisingly, I didn't miss it.

Unfortunately, his mother & grandmother weren't impressed with my 3 tattoos, my 8 year old son, my divorce, my un-baptized soul or  my empty bank account. Three months later, I was on a plane to Canada. *Home Sweet Home.* Too bad My Buddy was in A Big City of her own...

I am nothing if not stupid - I mean persistent - & when my other girlfriend needed help in a very small town 5 hours away- I went. Three years & one more abusive relationship later- yep-it was back to my  * Home -Town *

Which brings us to the Present. I still don't like thinking about it much, so I'll avoid it for a minute...

Never for a second imagine that I didn't meet good men & nice people. I think they are the ones who kept me real, optimistic & strong. The poem 'My Guys' explains that part of my Life... The Very Small Town I was in also introduced me to Wicca. ( If you don't know what Wicca is - I can't explain here. Try Celtic Connections .

Okay. The present......  

            This is my therapy, I guess. 

I'm doing this to help anyone who finds themselves in a situation they can't handle. In these pages one can find poetry of all kinds, as well as tid-bits of helpful info I've come across. I've discovered that "Misery Loves Company" and most people are miserable until they find someone worse off than them!

        It's easier to believe in yourself when someone else does too. The 'Great-Being" (whoever s/he may be) never tosses us stuff we can't handle. Platitudes are the words of wisdom handed down thru the ages by people who were also going insane trying to please all the people, all the time!

        So, if you're tired of your crappy life, take a walk thru mine... Together we all just may "live long and prosper"!